I am still holding firm to my Lenten promise not to eat mushrooms. At the same time–I cannot believe it is just coincidence–the stock market has been rising and the number of favorable, leading economic indications has been outnumbering the negative ones.
Shucks folks, ‘t’aint’t nothin’.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
www.lordsoffun.com
The Canadian curling coach will quit once his contract is up because his Olympic team “… has no passion for the game.”
In curling, someone propels a round, black thingy down the ice. One, or more, teammates sweep the ice ahead of the thingy. People are happy if the thingy goes far. That’s it.
I hate to see this game played without passion. Kinda like watching celebrity paint-drying without the celebrities.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun and Head Researcher
www.lordsoffun.com
My wife decided to mail a rosary in an envelope. Normally, we put our envelopes in the nearest mail box. Today, we gave it to a postal worker along with other mail needing to be weighed. Good thing we did.
The postal worker said that letters from boxes are sorted by machine. The rosary would have jammed their machine and as we were told, “EVERY bit of mail after ours would not be able to be sent.”
No mail, no checks sent. More defaults, including mortgages. The already fragile world would have collapsed. The world government, already in debt to their gills, would have collapsed. Millions of hungry people would have rioted endlessly in search of bread and meat for their families. Military despots would have invaded other countries to secure dwindling food supplies. The losing countries would have launched their nuclear missiles.
Oh my goodness! Nuclear winter! Armageddon!
Thank goodness, we took that letter inside the post office and gave it to a person who put it in the proper bin. Oh dear, I think I need a root-beer restorative.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
www.lordsoffun.com
Quite a few churches ask their flocks to turn off all cell-phones during services. That is quite appropriate and I always comply. However, I would greatly appreciate it if they posted a sign near the exit reminding absent-minded people like me to turn them back on.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
I keep getting offers to test the various colors of Apple laptops. Shouldn’t a blue Apple laptop run the same as a green one? Or is there something much, much, more sinister going on?
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
My wife and I saw a charter bus in the parking lot of our WalMart. The bus’s slogan was, “Getting there is half the fun.”
“Honey, screw the cruise to Alaska, we’re touring WalMarts.”
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
I’ve seen an online advertisement offering a CSI degree which I can earn without leaving my home. Why visit the scene of the crime when your easy chair is so comfy?
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
How many times has this happened to you? You want to have a medical operation and go on a cruise, but you can’t afford both.
Well, now you can with Paul’s Lord of Fun Medical cruises. We will cruise to the most exotic locations such as the Mexican Riviera, Martinique, the Canary Islands and more, where surgeons will be happy to operate on you at a fraction of the cost of that in the U.S..
Why, the savings alone from having the medical procedure done in a foreign land will more than pay for your vacation.
Bon voyage. Bon operation.
Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
With no health-care bill in sight and soaring insurance premiums, I pass along this headline I saw at a supermarket’s checkout counter:
“Tap the Amazing Healing Power of Ketchup.”
Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
I showed my wife all the perfect white roses I had accumulated in Farmville, an online game on Facebook. I said they were all for her. She said “that made her very cyber happy.”
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
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