Sunday, July 12, 2009

California Needs Money

 PennyNickelDimeQuarter California is broke! It needs $25 billions dollars. It is issuing IOUs that banks are taking. What can we do?

     I’m glad you asked. I have six solutions.

1) Have the governor and all the congressman sell “I support California” stickers door to door. These stickers will sell at $25. Our lawmakers will need to sell one billion of them to close the budget deficit. Diligence in selling will be a must.

2) Have the lawmakers scour all their sofas for change. The state probably owns a lot of sofas.

3) Have the politicians sell lemonade.

4) Have them do car washes. That’s what all our high schoolers do to raise money.

5) Institute a state sales tax on mushrooms.

6) Sell our Capitol building and have them rent a hotel in the poorest part of Sacramento, one with weekly rates, until they come up with a solution to the budget deficit.

- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com

Posted by Paul De Lancey at 16:06:21 | Permalink | No Comments »

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Tic-Tac-Toe Championships to Be Held in Poway

Computing The smiley-face strike is over. Huzzah!

In other breaking news, The Tic-Tac-Toe Organizing Committee, TTTOC, announced today that the beautiful city of Poway, California, had been chosen to host the 2012 Tic-Tac-Toe Championship Games, TTTCG.

“We couldn’t be more pleased or proud,” said Poway spokesman, Hubert Barrelman. “This certainly adds luster to our city’s name. Hosting the TTTCG will provide an economic boost just like the Olympics did to Beijing or Los Angeles.”

Indeed, Hiram Feltzer, Chief Analyst of Feltzer research concurred. “The TTTCG is a proven crowd drawer. I calculate the games to bring in at least $17.83 in tourist revenue.”

“The TTTCG is not for the gifted amateur anymore,” said Sarah Nording of ESPN6. “You can’t really expect to compete anymore without rigorous training.”

Sally Haines, President of the American Obscure Sports Association, goes even further. “You can tell in advance the ones with the real chances of reaching the final sixteen. They’ll be the ones that have memorized Robert Le Secraisin’s definitive books, Nine Great Opening Moves for the Advanced Tic-Tac-Toe Player and the must-have sequel Eight Great Counter Moves.

Book your hotel and event reservations now.

- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com

Posted by Paul De Lancey at 05:27:06 | Permalink | No Comments »