Lords of Fun

I have been getting blog.commed lately. Every time I tried to log on to blog.com to update my blog which provides untold hope to millions around the globe, blog.com presented me with the following message:

502 Bad Gateway

Is “Bad Gateway” the same as “Bad Dog?” How did my Gateway go bad? Did it fall in with a bad crowd? Experiment with drugs? Would my 501 Gateway have done better? Do I even get a choice of Gateways? Is this like the eternal question, “Does God give us free will?”

Anyway, I am quite glad that voting in Afghanistan came off during my blog’s absence.

- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun

Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com

Just after I  complained about blog.com being run by uncaring, incompetent idiots, I am forced to issue a retraction. They are not incompetent. They have a time machine.

I published my last post about 7 p.m. on August 14. I visited my site a minute later and found they had published it on August 15, a day later. Indeed, a day into the future. Splendid. Well done. Take a bow.

I would have hoped they would have used their time machine to give me baseball results or closing prices on the stock market for the next day. I could have made a bundle with that information. Still, I suppose with time travel being a new thing and all, we must all take baby steps.

I am so impressed with this unsuspected ability of blog.com that I will not even trot out my festering complaints about:

1) It’s impossible to gain access to my profile on my blog. I can get to it by signing in. However, I already know about myself, so this is of limited use.
2) They advertise on my blog without my permission. I can’t get my own advertising.
3) I can’t find out basic statistics about my blog.
4) I can’t indent the first lines of a paragraph.

But maybe I should wait. If they can make a time machine, the above problems should take no time at all to solve. Heck, with their time machine, they can fix this problem yesterday and then you won’t be reading this.

- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com

Dear Readers, after hours of trial and errors and inventive, invective-riddled speech, I successfully managed to outwit blog.com by getting my picture on my blog and my mission statement and my links re-established. I also am able to use the font Tahoma in the size I want. This feat only used all my skills in html code.

I still need to figure out how to get my author profile visible on my blog. That and finding out how to indent paragraphs. Oh well. Another day

- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com

Dear Readers, it took me days how to figure out blog.com site and to put together a blog. It wasn’t at all easy as their support is maintained by surly penguins. No, that is not right. Surly penguins are more helpful. Did you know to get the font Tahoma-16 you had to type a few words, highlight those words, switch the font to Tahoma, switch the type size to 16, then when the old font showed up again, switch the size 15 at which point Tahoma reappeared, switch the type size to 16.

Now, blog.com has improved things.

1) I can no longer have a choice of fonts.

2) I lost the picture or blog avatar.

3) I cannot upload a new one.

4) I lost my links.

5) And everything is in a different place.

If the good people of blog.com had been around when Dante wrote his Inferno, he would have added another level of Hell just the fit in the people of blog.com, that spawned this monstrous improvement.

- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun

Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com