I shall be defending my poetry title in February at the Writers’ Conference in San Diego. My winning poem from last year was called “Regret” and was about penguins.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
Today, I had enough time to take a hot, relaxing bath. I had two choices of gels, yuan zhi and suma ginseng. I chose ginseng. What would you have done?
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
Everybody knows by now, that two Northwest Airlines pilots overshot their destination of Minneapolis by 150 miles and had to turn around. Question swirl around how the pilots managed to fly past their airport and why they were out of communication for over an hour.
I want to know if the passengers get the extra 300 miles flown as frequent flier miles.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
Baseball in November!
Baseball in November!
What has this world come to?
Baseball in November!
Is baseball in December next?
What about January? February?
How will they find the baseball
Among the piles of snow?
Groundballs will become impossible.
Flyballs will be lost in the white, white blizzard.
So will any ball landing in the white snow drifts.
Everything will become an inside-the-park homer.
And what about all those other sports played in winter?
Like football, hockey, basketball, curling, and more.
What activity won’t be competing with winter baseball?
Celebrity tiddlywinks, perhaps.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
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As heard on National Public Radio, the newest advance in agriculture is milking cows in the field. It was an advance in 700 AD, too.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
No, they are not Al Qaeda or the Taliban. They are the people who invented, perfected, and marketed the modern, perpetually self-jamming printer that resists all attempts to fix it.
Unless, of course, you belong to Al Qaeda or the Taliban AND you invented the printer.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
On my trip to Boston, I noticed a sign saying “diaria” with times below it. I called my wife back in California to say that people were advertising the regularity of today’s loose movements. She said “Oh, Paul” and went on to explain that “diaria” meant “daily” in Spanish. I said if they had diarrhea every day, then it was no wonder Spain didn’t have a permanent seat on the Security Council. For some reason my wife again said, “Oh, Paul,” and added quite gratiutously that I was “weird.”
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
Well Saudi girls are clothed
I really dig those layers they wear
And the Yemen girls with the way they’re mute
They hear me out when I’m down there
The mid-east guns really have you in their sights
And the northern girls with the way they run
They keep their boyfriends scarce at night.
I wish they could all be Talibabe, yeah
I wish they could all be Talibabe, yeah
I wish they could all be Talibabe yeah girls.
The gulf coast has the oil wealth
And the girls all get so bland
I dig a French Peugot in some ‘istan
Lots of car bombs in the sand
I’ve been all around this great big land
And I’ve seen no kinds of girls
Yeah, but I couldn’t wait to get back to ‘istan
Back to the most clothesed girls in the world
I wish they all could wear thick black burkhas
I wish they all could wear thick black burkhas
I wish they all could be thick black burkha girls
I wish they all could be Talibabe, yeah
(girls, girls, girls, yeah I hide the)
I wish they all could be Talibabe, yeah
(girls, girls, girls, yeah I hide the)
I wish they all could be Talibabe, yeah
(girls, girls, girls, yeah I hide the)
I wish they all could be Talibabe, yeah
(girls, girls, girls, yeah I hide the)
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
Those wishing to track Santa’s progress this coming Christmas Eve can do so by clicking on www.noradsanta.org. You may also read stories by the F-14 pilots 
who escort him and have fun playing North Pole games.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
On a trip to New Orleans I noticed a sign on a building proclaiming rooms for rent. The name of the building?
* Cretin Apartments *
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.
A blog of great importance for all who think so.
