Estee Lauder For Ants
Ants keep committing suicide by rushing into my refrigerator. They lurk on the periphery waiting to dash in whenever I open the door, even though certain death awaits them.
Why? My wife says ants care only about smell. If they smell a plastic bag that once contained ground beef they will swarm the bag. It doesn’t matter that the beef was completely eaten by my family two days ago. The scent alone will send them into an ant frenzy.
Do scents matter as much to ants’ love lives? Probably. What if you are an ugly female ant, but still want that he-ant hunk? Time after time you see that saucy ant wench swishing her abdomen, spewing her seductive pheremones all over the place. She’s the one that always gets the he-ant.
Until now. Entomologists, philANTropists, and Estee Lauder have developed, with funds from the stimulus package, a scent for would-be belle ants. It’s called Seduction and is available on E*-Bay. Naturally, ants have no money. So, E*-Bay lets the ants work off their debts.
E* Bay = Short for Entomologists’ Bay and should not be confused with that other company.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
