While walking the streets of the fair city of Cambridge, MA, I saw an advertisement on the side of a car for a book. The advertisement went something like this: “Fascinating, A Real Page Turner. Or So It Seems.“ This seemed an excessively modest claim by a publisher trying to push a book. Or maybe they should change the title to, Yes, It Is.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
I have a new friend. His name is Rocket. He is a guinea pig. He doesn’t argue politics and I only need to feed him to make him think I’m great.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
I am visiting my brother and his family in Cambridge, MA. While enjoying the sights of this fair city, I took a constitutional to Good News Garage, the garage for the wildly successful show, Car Talk. However, Click and Clack were not there. It’s akin to climbing the highest peak in Tibet to seek the advice of the Dalai Lama and finding he’s in India.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
The History Channel does so fear
Countless comets far and near.
What if a comet comes too near*
To us on Earth where here is here?
WE WILL ALL GOING TO DIE!
If not now, then in 100 million years
WE WILL ALL DIE!
Drink up all your beer.
* = “Near” rhymes with “near.” So does “DIE!” with “DIE!” You can look it up.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
Two days I told my brother in Cambridge that I would be arriving in his fair city on Tuesday the 28th. He said his calendar had the 28th falling on a Monday. I checked my calendar and was able to tell him that the 28th is a Monday for San Diego as well.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
I took a package of Taco Bell taco shells from the pantry and opened it. To my culinary disquiet, I discovered hundreds and thousands of dead ants trapped inside the inner package. There were so many dead ants around the taco shells it was as if someone had poured pepper inside.
So, we switched to tortillas. But the fact remained, that box and package of Taco Bell hard shell tacos had lured more ants to ant Valhalla than any overt ant-killing product. Well done, Taco Bell.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
We’ve just had the 95th bank failure in America. That is bad for the financial system. Or is it? What is our financial system best at it?
Devising exotic, risky, unregulated financial derivatives. Brokers sell them. Analysts tout them. They all rake in big fees and commissions. Dirty, rotten scoundrels.
Let me join. I am anouncing the formation of The Lords Of Fun - Bank Failure Derivative. You are guaranteed 12% a year if bank failures in America go over 80. Under 80, you get 3.5%, still better than those stodgy Treasury bills. For the more optimistic, I am forming The Lords of Fun - Bank Stability Derivative. You are guaranteed 12% a year if the bank failures stay under 80 and 3.5% for over.
Please put your money in a brown paper bag under the tallest tree in Old Poway Park at precisely 12:05 pm. I shall invest it wisely. Nothing could be safer than gold mining in the Marianas Trench, right?
- Paul De Lancey, Ph.D. and First Lord of Fun
Please this financial wizard’s website at www.lordsoffun.com
In two recent posts, I established that eating a doughnut during trading hours causes the stock market to fall. It has, however, fallen over the last three days without me eating a doughnut. There are only three possible explanations for the recent decline in stock prices.
1) The stock market is looking at a moving average of my doughnut eating. So, it might be thinking that I am still eating 0.37 doughnuts a day. ie DE(t) = .5*DE(t) - .108DE(t-1) + .22DE(t-2) +.37DE(t-3) + e(t) where DE = doughnuts eaten. The rest of the equation is obvious.
2) Someone else is eating a doughnut during market hours. If you are, stop it!
3) The stock market is even more complex or simpler than suspected.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
Despite living in my fair city, Poway, the jewel of the Southwest, My Yahoo gives me the current weather and forecasts of Sunnyvale, CA. Sunnyvale is near San Francisco while I live near Mexico. So, the weather report for Sunnyvale is of limited use to me.
On the other hand, I can always look out the window–One moment as I open the blinds–and see that Poway is sunny. Even if I owned a powerful telescope I could never see the weather in Sunnyvale. (Another proof that the world is curved.) So, I guess they are doing me a favor. But why Sunnyvale? Why not Cambridge where my brother lives? Why not Alaska? I might want to vacation there.
Obviously the good folks at Yahoo know something about Sunnyvale that I don’t. If you don’t hear from me in a while, you’ll know where I’ll be. And you’ll be wishing you were there too.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his informative website at www.lordsoffun.com
According to the good folks at Citigroup in New York, their bank events will provide excellent backdrops for photo opportunities of the bank’s activities. While being redundant, this statement is also exciting. Why go on an Alaskan cruise and fly to Maui when you get those great family photos at a Citigroup bank? And you’ll have a lot more money in your bank account, unless of course, you bought Citigroup’s stock a year ago.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
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