I’ve seen an online advertisement offering a CSI degree which I can earn without leaving my home. Why visit the scene of the crime when your easy chair is so comfy?
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
How many times has this happened to you? You want to have a medical operation and go on a cruise, but you can’t afford both.
Well, now you can with Paul’s Lord of Fun Medical cruises. We will cruise to the most exotic locations such as the Mexican Riviera, Martinique, the Canary Islands and more, where surgeons will be happy to operate on you at a fraction of the cost of that in the U.S..
Why, the savings alone from having the medical procedure done in a foreign land will more than pay for your vacation.
Bon voyage. Bon operation.
Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
With no health-care bill in sight and soaring insurance premiums, I pass along this headline I saw at a supermarket’s checkout counter:
“Tap the Amazing Healing Power of Ketchup.”
Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
I showed my wife all the perfect white roses I had accumulated in Farmville, an online game on Facebook. I said they were all for her. She said “that made her very cyber happy.”
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
The New Orleans Saints will win the Super Bowl 31 - 17.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
I recently received an invitation to join the following Facebook group:
“We can find 1,000,000 people who DO believe in evolution before June.”
They believe we will evolve before June? Wow, it took millions of years for humanity to evolve to its present state. But for me, I’ll be happy to have send out last year’s Christmas cards before then.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
I’m 52. According to the ads in Facebook, dozens of young women with huge breasts want to get to know me, car insurance will cost $15 a month, Apple wants to give its latest laptop, and health insurance will cost around $20 a month.
Wow! What will it be like when I’m 53?
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
P.S. I love my wife and those young women wanting to meet me better have $25 a month health insurance if my wife finds out. So, there. I wouldn’t mind that cheap health insurance, though.
My wife’s cyber fish cannot die.
I do not feed them. It’s no lie.
Don’t remove algae, Don’t try.
Facebook’s Haapy Aquarium
Will let its fishes so get glum
But they don’t die, oh no, dear chum.
Last year, I flushed a cyber fish
Dead down the toilet, with a whish.
Since then the cyber freaks live, o pish!
Each night cyber fish taunt me.
“We will always live, you see.
“But you’ll die , ha ha, hee hee.”
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his website at www.lordsoffun.com
I just heard disturbing news on the radio. The United States is not going to relax its ban on haggis imported from Scotland. This ban was instituted in the ’90s because of the Mad Cow outbreak. Despair, my heart was filled with despair.
Which quickly passed. Haggis is made with oatmeal and the intestines, lungs, heart, and liver of sheep. Why would I want to eat that? Why would anyone want to? Haggis is probably the reason so many Scots emigrated to America.
Oh, and for you lung lovers, the FDA is totally behind its ban on selling any type of lung.
I will just have to survive, somehow.
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit his haggis-free website at www.lordsoffun.com
I ate Chinese with my wife tonight. I proudly showed my fortune to my wife. My fortune stated, “Rarely do great beauty and virtue dwell together as they do in you.” She read it and laughed and laughed. Perhaps she was recollecting a humorous incident?
- Paul De Lancey, First Lord of Fun
Please visit my website at www.lordsoffun.com
A blog of great importance for all who think so.
